Dynamic Catholic Newsletter July 2017

7 Ways to Slow Down

I’ve been thinking about summer lately. It’s supposed to be a time when we slow down and enjoy ourselves a bit, relax, and maybe even take a vacation. But that’s not usually what happens. We get bombarded trying to keep up with our kids’ schedules, demands at work, all sorts of activities. Many of us even feel like our vacations are hectic and stressful. In today’s culture we don’t really know how to slow down. We just keep going until we’re burned out.

This isn’t the kind of life God wants for you. He wants you to slow down and refresh from time to time so you can live with more passion and purpose. Here are 7 practical things you can do to slow down this summer and throughout the rest of the year.

1. Do less

Most of us are doing too much because we haven’t taken the time to really evaluate our priorities. Without a clear sense of what our priorities are, everything is important, which means nothing is. Take some time to stop, examine your priorities, and consider what matters most. Focus on the essentials. Let the rest go. Say “no” more often. Give yourself time between errands, work, family commitments, and visiting friends to give your day a more leisurely pace.

2. Be present

Slowing down is not so much about moving more slowly as it is about being more present to what is going on around you. God wants you to be aware of things while they are actually happening. He wants you to fully experience every breath of air you take, every bite of food, every smile from a baby, every song you hear. Make an effort to focus on the now. When you realize you’re distracted, gently pull yourself back into the present moment and be attentive to the person, task, or situation at hand.

3. Eat slower

So many of us eat in a hurry, barely chewing our food. We’re too busy thinking about the things on our to-do lists. Next time you eat, be more mindful of what you’re putting into your mouth. How does it look? How does it smell? How does it taste? Practice chewing more slowly and make healthy choices about what you eat. Sit at a table with others as much as you can, and just enjoy the simple pleasures of eating.

4. Surround yourself with nature

There is plenty of research that shows how nature slows us down. It brings our heart rates and blood pressure down, clears our minds, and brings us a greater sense of calm. Take time to get outside regularly. Don’t text or talk on your cell phone. Instead, look around and observe what’s going on in the beautiful, natural world God created.

5. Do one thing at a time

Most of us recognize that we cannot do everything at once, but often we subconsciously refuse to accept that. We think we’re being more efficient when we multi-task, but the truth is, we’re being less productive. We have to choose between many options when deciding what to do on any given day or in any given hour, so it’s important that we focus on one thing at a time. You’re going to feel the urge to jump from task to task. Just remind yourself that what you’ve chosen to focus on now is the most important thing at this time.

6. Disconnect more often

Today we are constantly connected to our digital devices. If we’re not talking, we’re texting or checking social media or email. It’s incredibly distracting. Leave your phone behind more often. Turn if off more frequently. Set rules for yourself. Maybe it’s no digital devices at the dinner table. Or no checking your phone when visiting friends. Or taking a break from digital devices on Sundays. Choose something that will work well for you. When you’re connected to your phone all the time, you’re constantly at the mercy of information coming in and the demands of others. Disconnecting more often will help you slow down and focus on what’s important.

7. Allow more time and show up early

Most of us underestimate how long things take. Then we feel anxious, frustrated, and rushed—like we’re always running behind. If you believe an activity will take 15 minutes, give it half an hour. Then, if it actually does take 15 minutes, you’ll have an extra 15 minutes. By building more time into your schedule, you’ll arrive early or on time for commitments and your days won’t seem so unmanageable.

Start practicing these 7 tips and you’ll find it’s easier to slow down, enjoy your summer, and steer clear of burnout.

God bless you and those you love,

CHAPTER ONE

How to Pray Together

“By reason of their dignity and mission, Christian parents have the specific responsibility of educating their children in prayer, introducing them to gradual discovery of the mystery of God and to personal dialogue with Him.”

—Pope John Paul II, On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World, 60

Prayer is essential to the Christian life, and parents are the primary people responsible for teaching their children to pray. But if you’ve ever tried to pray with a four-year-old who won’t stop jumping on the bed, or a resentful teenager who has better things to do, then your first reaction might just be, “Easier said than done!” And the task is doubly daunting for those whose prayer life isn’t what we’d like it to be (which is most of us).

This book aims to help you pray with your kids by offering you a wide variety of styles and strategies from the long tradition of Christian prayer. But before we begin to look at different ways of praying with our kids, it might be good to pause a moment to ask: Just what is it we’re trying to do here? What does it mean to “pray” with our kids?

What Is Prayer?

Whole libraries of books have been written in response to the questions, “What is prayer?” and “How do I pray?” But the Catechism of the Catholic Church offers a simple enough definition as the beginning of its fourth part, “Christian Prayer.” Prayer, it says, is “a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God” (2558). We hear this definition echoed in Pope John Paul II’s statement, that Christian parents should introduce their children “to gradual discovery of the mystery of God and to personal dialogue with him” through prayer.

If prayer is a relationship and a dialogue with God, then teaching our children to pray isn’t like teaching them to ride a bike or to do calculus. It is much more like teaching them how to be friends with someone . . . except that in this case, the “someone” also happens to be the source and ground of their very being.

The experience of holy men and women throughout the ages offers other helpful insights into the nature of prayer. Consider the following reflections by these widely acknowledged masters of Christian prayer:

St. Thérèse of Lisieux: “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love.”

St. Theresa of Avila: “Mental prayer is, as I see it, simply a friendly intercourse, and frequent solitary conversation with him who, as we know, loves us.”

Pope John XXIII: “Prayer is the raising of the mind to God. We must always remember this. The actual words matter less.”

St. Basil the Great: “The best form of prayer is one that . . . makes space for the presence of God within us.”

St. John Climacus: “Prayer is by nature a dialogue and a union of man with God; its effect is to hold the world together, for it achieves a reconciliation with God.”

St. Theophan the Recluse: “Whoever has passed through actions and thought to true feeling, will pray without words, for God is God of the heart.”

Clement of Alexandria: “Even if we speak with a low voice, even if we whisper without opening the lips, even if we call to him only from the depths of our heart, our unspoken word always reaches God, and God always listens.”

This, then, is the far horizon that we are aiming for when we pray with our kids. Helping our kids to memorize a handful of prayers and to recite those prayers at mealtime and bedtime is a great place to start, but it is not our kids’ ultimate destination. Ultimately, they are called to a life illuminated by the presence of God.

Leading Children to God Through Prayer

If that description of prayer leaves you more daunted than encouraged, consider three points that might make the responsibility of educating your children in prayer a little less overwhelming.

1. The Holy Spirit Is Already at Work in Your Child

It is the Holy Spirit who teaches us how to pray (see Luke 11:13; Romans 8:26). The Holy Spirit is already at work in your child, simply by virtue of his baptism. Even if your child hasn’t been baptized, as one created in the image of God, his deepest self longs for God. That longing may be hard to see, but it’s there; it’s a fundamental fact of human nature. And even if your child actively turns away from God, God will never stop seeking him out (CCC, 27, 30).

So while parents may be responsible for “introducing” their children to the mystery of God through prayer, it is the Holy Spirit who ultimately leads each person to God. As St. Paul says: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6–7).

As you pray with your kids, learn to recognize the Holy Spirit at work in them—and, when necessary, get out of the way.

2. The Holy Spirit Is at Work in You, Too

Besides trusting the work of the Holy Spirit in your child, you can also trust that the same Spirit is at work in you. Even if your own prayer life is far from perfect, God will use whatever you have to help your child grow in faith.

3. The Community of Believers Has Your Back

The main way that the Holy Spirit teaches people to pray is “through the believing and praying Church” (CCC, 2650). From the Israelites gathered with Moses at the base of Mount Sinai to the the disciples gathered in the upper room and beyond, prayer has always been the work of the whole community of believers. And it is the whole community of believers that hands on the tradition of prayer.

In other words, teaching your child to pray isn’t something you have to do by yourself; you have the help of the whole Church. What does this mean, practically speaking? For starters, if you do nothing more than take your children to Mass, the sacraments, and other liturgical celebrations, you’ve already laid a solid foundation for a vibrant prayer life. The prayer of the community—what the Church calls liturgy—is one of the most important ways children learn to pray (see CCC, 1704–1075).

But it also means that the incredible wealth of the Church’s long tradition of prayer—the wisdom of the saints, the mystics, and the whole People of God (including lots of moms and dads just like you)—is at your disposal. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel!

Getting Started

Here are a few practical tips to consider as you begin exploring different ways of praying with your kids:

Start out small. Choose the simplest, easiest practices and work your way up to more involved ones.

Try out one idea at a time. If it works, try making it a regular part of your family’s “prayer menu”; if it doesn’t, move on.

Try out a variety of different prayer styles. Even if a particular practice doesn’t suit your children now, they might return to that way of praying later in life.

Make a few prayer practices a family habit. If you manage to incorporate even a handful of these practices into your family life on a regular basis, you will be doing great.

“Unless You Become Like Children . . .”

A final thought: Praying with our kids isn’t a one-way street. It isn’t only we, as parents, who introduce our kids to the mystery of God; if we are attentive, our kids can lead us deeper into the mystery of God, too.

When you pause in your busy life to pray with your kids, then, hold in your heart these words of Jesus:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
(Matthew 18:1–5)

From 77 Ways to Pray with Your Kids
by Jerry Windley-Daoust

Spiritual Reflection

While Fr. Bob is away on pilgrimage, we’ll feature inspiring videos and articles that share the genius of Catholicism.

Dr. Allen Hunt is a nationally known speaker and bestselling author. His books include Confessions of a Mega-Church Pastor, Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody, and Nine Words. Dr. Hunt serves the Dynamic Catholic mission as our strategic advisor. He and his wife, Anita, live in Atlanta and have two daughters.

Your Story

After reading Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde (Young Readers’ Edition), our 10-year-old daughter’s class was given an assignment. They were asked to come up with an idea to make the world a better place. Our daughter first thought of doing a canned food drive for the poor, especially since that’s what her friends were urging her to do. However, she said she felt that Jesus wanted her to find a way to reach at least 100 people who didn’t really know him. So she began hatching a plan.

At the same time, my sister told me about Dynamic Catholic—and I signed up for Daily Reflections. One day I got an email about Matthew Kelly’s book Resisting Happiness, explaining how to get copies of the book for your parish. I told my daughter about the book while we were discussing ideas. She thought about a lot of things before deciding she wanted to provide 500 copies of Resisting Happiness for our parish.

She planned to have a bake sale at the church to raise the money, but she didn’t stop there. She designed an entire website inviting people to attend Christmas Mass at our parish. Then she made fliers to place around town, promoting the site.

It was amazing to see her brainstorm on ideas for both her website and flier and put her plan into action. And the results were just wonderful. Our daughter was able to provide the books for our parish and hand them out after Mass. Our pastor even mailed copies of the book to some of our snowbirds who were traveling for the holidays. A week or more after Christmas, our priest emailed us several amazing stories. One parishioner, a widow, called our priest to tell him the book pulled her out of a very rough spot and saved her life. Another parishioner has decided to provide Mass Journals for the entire parish. The list just goes on and on.

The Holy Spirit is working strongly through our little girl and through Dynamic Catholic. It is so amazing and wonderful to see and experience.

Want to share your story? Write us at yourstory@DynamicCatholic.com

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