How I Found My Soulmate

I was about to begin my first year of college, and I was ready—ready to meet my soulmate. I had rehearsed hundreds of different acceptable ways for us to meet, and I had prayed that God would send him my way—and soon!

I was ready for something epic.

Or so I thought.

It turns out I had a lot of misconceptions about what meeting my soulmate would look like. Here are just a few of them.

Not a Hallmark movie.

I wanted to meet my soulmate while sipping a steaming vanilla latte at my favorite coffee shop. Or literally be swept off my feet by a modern-day Prince Charming. I wanted “Lights. Camera. Action.”

But that’s not how my story turned out. All of the scenarios I had set up for myself were based on movies. I thought that if our meeting didn’t look like something Hollywood set up, it wouldn’t be the real thing.

The setting was a dorm lobby. The key players were a business statistics textbook, the guy who was about to walk past, and the girl who had no idea that the next few moments would change the rest of her life. The scene was set. But no lights, camera, or action. No soundtrack. No romantic backdrop.

You won’t just know.

We’d lock eyes, time would stand still, and I’d just know. This is the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. No questions asked. Right?

Wrong. Not many of us will experience love at first sight. We need the chance to ask questions, discern, and figure out if this is the person we are meant to grow old with. Through all the ups and downs of dating, you’ll come to know if you’re with the right person. It’s okay if you don’t just know from the first meeting. I sure didn’t!

We all want to live happily ever after.

The guy walked past me in the lobby on his way out of the building. He eyed the textbook and stopped. Panicked, he asked, “Do we have stats homework?” I quickly assured him that we didn’t and that I was just working on some notes.

Visible relief.

“I’m Luke,” he said.

“Elisa,” I returned. He smiled and continued on his way.

And that was it. No flash of light. No booming voice from above. Nothing epic like I had imagined. In that moment, I had no idea how important Luke would become.

God’s timing is perfect.

They say timing is everything, especially in meeting “the one.” I wanted to meet my soulmate right away. In my mind, I was ready. In my mind, the timing was perfect. For others, this looks different. They think the timing is right once they have the perfect job, or the perfect house, or the perfect amount of money.

It turns out that patience is a virtue for a reason. I had to remind myself that regardless of my own desires, my life is in God’s hands. His plans are not necessarily our plans, and his timing is always perfect. For me, that meant being patient. For you, that might mean to just accept love when it comes to you. The best things in life are the ones God has planned for us.

We met during my freshman year of college, but we didn’t start dating until months later. As Luke and I grew in friendship and started dating, God’s plan for us became clearer and clearer.

Perfectly imperfect.

We all want to live happily ever after. We want to live the life we have imagined with the person we have imagined ourselves with. In short, we want someone perfect.

But there comes a moment when we realize that no one is perfect. The sooner we realize this, the better. My soulmate isn’t perfect. And I’m not either. We both have our fair share of flaws and vices. The important thing is that we call each other to grow and to become a-better-version-of-ourselves each day.

Luke isn’t the guy for me because I have no other option, he’s the right guy for me because he helps me become the-best-version-of-myself!

Freshman year, I was looking for a perfect person and a perfect relationship. But what I found was a real person and a real relationship.

Love is a choice.

I had always thought that love equated to “being in love,” and that if you didn’t feel it, it didn’t exist.

It took being in our relationship for over a year to realize this was not the case.

There are times when I don’t feel it—but this doesn’t mean that I don’t love Luke! As months turned into years, butterflies faded. That’s when I discovered that real, authentic love is a choice . . . a choice I make every day.


I had always pictured finding my soulmate to be like one giant two-player worldwide game of hide-and-seek. Somewhere out there was my soulmate, and I just had to find him. But what if our paths never cross? What if we simply miss each other? What if one of us moved away? Do I only get one chance at finding happiness?

Luke isn’t the guy for me because I have no other option, he’s the right guy for me because he helps me become the-best-version-of-myself!

Nearly four years after that chance encounter, I looked down as Luke dropped to one knee in one of our favorite parks and asked if I’d spend the rest of my life with him. Luke is my best friend, my partner in crime, and my closest confidant. And somewhere along the way, I realized he was also the person who had become my soulmate. There was nothing else to say except, “Yes!”

A chance encounter with a guy in my dorm was not on my radar. This was not one of the countless scenarios I had dreamt up.

My story isn’t the one I had always imagined.

It’s better.

In marriage, our goal is to help each other become the-best-version-of-ourselves, and ultimately to bring each other to heaven. And it is in marriage that the person we are with becomes our soulmate.

I’m not marrying Luke because he’s my soulmate.

He’s my soulmate because I’m marrying him.

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