Many Catholics avoid the sacrament of confession. I, too, was one of those Catholics until last year.
My mother went deaf prior to my birth, and I was subsequently born with a 60 percent hearing loss. Growing up, my mother and I had to go to confession face to face with the priest in order to be able to communicate. I hated it, I felt embarrassed, and I stopped going to confession when I was 19 years old. I never went again until May 2014.
I fell away from the Church about 15 years ago and was later married outside the Church. I was so busy working full-time and being a caretaker for family members that I convinced myself I didn’t need to attend Mass—that I could be a good Christian without the Mass and the Eucharist.
When my father-in-law passed away two years ago, I began to feel restlessness in my heart that I didn’t understand at the time. As Saint Augustine says, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O Lord.”
A year ago, a dear friend asked me to attend Mass with her. It was at that Mass that I knew I needed to find my way back to the Catholic Church.
Several months later I registered at the parish and met with Father Danda, giving him a brief history of my life. I can still vividly recall when he suggested I consider going to confession. I shuddered at the mere thought of it! That meant I would have to go face to face with him and tell him some sins I was truly ashamed of. I didn’t want to do it.
Through prayer and discernment, however, I asked myself, “How could I ask God to welcome me back into the Church if I was not willing to go to confession?” I also asked, “How could I go to confession and seek absolution from God if I couldn’t first ask forgiveness from some people that I hurt?”
I met with several people asking for their forgiveness. Then I had my confession with Father Danda. It was very difficult to be face to face and tell him what I had done. But when I heard the words of absolution, I was moved to tears! There was a sense of freedom and serenity that enveloped me.
My marriage was then convalidated (officially recognized by the Catholic Church) on October 12, 2014, and I thought I had come home. But the journey home was just beginning. In going to regular confessions, I soon discovered I had a lot of guilt and pent-up emotions that needed healing. I plead with you, do not be like me! Do not deny yourself the healing power of this wonderful sacrament.
My journey has continued in ways that I never expected. Fr. Danda introduced me to Dynamic Catholic, which has sent me on another journey of spiritual growth and learning about the Catholic faith. I’ve listened to many inspirational CDs, read several good Catholic books, and attended several Dynamic Catholic events. I realized how very little that I knew about the Catholic faith, and I regretted being away for so long. I pray and hope that it is God’s will to grant me good health and many years so that I can serve him and give back of my time and treasures.
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